“Me and my high school volleyball team”

I had always identified much more closely as an American, and don’t let me fool you – I definitely am an American. But I always knew I was different. Besides being a regular American kid that played sports, was a cheerleader, rode on tractors in a place where every country song ever written rings true – I was also the kid that was much darker, went to school smelling like Asian noodles and who’s parents really believed in the approach of “just say no” to drugs because they were so much more strict than the other parents – that’s all they had to teach because we knew better.

Still, identifying as an American felt right but wasn’t always right. When you grow up the way that I did with no other Asians in your midst until college at 18 years old, no matter how the kids treat you, there is still a paign of not belonging that always sits with you. I had turned this fact into overcompensating for my “uniqueness” by always having to be the best- prove the fastest, smartest, strongest, you name it, so that my feeling of not belonging was because I thought I was better, not because I was Asian. It took me a long time, say 28 years, to realize that that’s what it was after taking a trip across oceans, cultures, and families – to find out who I truly am and the foundation of my life that has always been there but I was too consumed to see.

This was my journey to Vietnam.

I’ve talked about making the pilgrimage back to Vietnam my whole life – something I have always dreamt about, and nothing I could do to prepare myself for. The whole planning of the trip was a bit numb to me. If you’ve ever dreamt of something your whole life and then start to go through the motions of actually fulfilling that dream – it’s a bit awe-striking. I also found it to be really overwhelming. I started to read the Lonely Planet guide just to start plotting a path and each time I started to read, tears would start rolling; and I don’t mean single tear down the cheek, I mean running rivers of water flowing freely from my eyes. I couldn’t open that book and read about Vietnam without being absolutely flooded. This was going to be an emotional experience.

I wasn’t sure what answers I was looking for – Sense of self? Sense of family? An understanding of my history? Belonging? Redemption? Probably all of the above. All I know was when envisioning it in my head so many different scenarios came and went and I was trying my hardest not to set any expectations for what was about to come.

A big part of my family history is based largely on the Vietnam War. If it wasn’t for the Vietnam War I wouldn’t have been born and raised in the greatest country on earth – America. I’ve heard many stories of my parents heroic pilgrimage to America (for a recap, you can go to a previous blog post: http://www.liztruong.com/2010/07/04/celebrating-independence-both-for-our-country-and-for-my-family/), but also haunting memories of what it was like to live through a war. In our first couple of days we went and visited the “American War Memorial” and it was the most overwhelming, gut-wrenching, heartbreaking moment of my life. There is a room that is nothing but pictures and examples of atrocities of the war. Seeing my family, my parents, running rampant through such difficult times growing up – I couldn’t bear it. I was on the verge of a hysterical breakdown in the middle of a museum with nowhere to go. Where I went ended up being in a bathroom stall to cry my eyes out for a solid half hour – and I have to say it was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I understood a lot about my parents that day and the decisions they have made over the years during a very urgent and volatile part of their lives. I can’t even think about that moment in the museum without streaming tears, and to think that my parents lived it and have been living with it for over 36 years is remarkable to me.

Then came the day to meet my dad’s family for the very first time. My parents hadn’t told them I was coming up until about a day before I set out to meet them. My Grandma (Ba Noi) is still living and therefore is the oldest and headstone of my family. My dad was the oldest of 13 kids and all of them still live within the same area of Ho Chi Minh City. This was going to be a big family. I’ve never been more nervous and excited for something in my life as we pulled up into the part of Vietnam where my dad was born and raised his entire adolescent life – in the same neighborhood and house with the same people he grew up. The moment I got out of the cab, there were people in the streets yelling, “Chanh Truong’s daughter from America! It’s her!” And everyone was staring, smiling, following us as we made the walk to my dad’s house. People were coming out of their houses to say hello and follow us, family members were streaming in with looks of shock and disbelief on their face – it was very confusing until the moment I saw my Ba Noi for the first time and reality struck. This was my dad’s life. She was so overwhelmed and surprised that her son’s daughter from America had returned to meet her. I think I was in so much shock I wasn’t sure how to react yet, until they took a picture frame off the wall that was storing all the pictures of our American family – my parents, brothers and I – and at that moment, I realized – this is family. This is where I came from. And I broke down crying. Needless to say, then everyone started crying, but it was all happy and unbelievable tears.

“Meeting Ba Noi (Grandma) for the first time”

Over the course of the couple days I spent with my dad’s family, they were such warm, hospitable, and loving people. My Ba Noi told everyone she couldn’t eat because she was just so happy. It was crazy to be around people that constantly told me I looked so much like my father. They kept saying my smile was completely my dad, and it reminded them of everything they missed about him. Those two days I was smiling with a pure, unaltered  joy I had never felt before, knowing that when I smiled I was sharing with them a part of their family that they had missed for so long. I was bringing my father back through my smile, something that he is known for by everyone that knows him here and abroad, and realizing that his smile is something that I have of his has become my most precious gift.

“My dad Chanh and his infamous smile”

“Me and my dad’s brother (Uncle #4) with the Truong smile

“Me and my dad’s side of the family in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam”

After spending a couple days with my dad’s family, we made the treacherous journey north to find my mom’s family. My mom grew up in a very small fishing village called Nui Thanh outside of Tam Ky. It’s so small where she grew up, it’s not actually a part of the small town of Nui Thanh – it’s part of a smaller village with no name outside the small town of Nui Thanh. That really only meant one thing to us – this was going to be one incredible journey trying to find them. I have very amusing stories getting to my mom’s family along the “not dangerous – it’s what you call…deadly, yes deadly” freeway and a fantastic translator who managed to doze off on his motorbike on the way down…for those stories let me know you want to hear them and I am happy to share. But for time sake – we made it to my mom’s village. My mom’s family was a complete surprise to me. They were nothing I ever thought they would be, yet it all made so much sense. Gregarious, overly hospitable, feeding you every second, loving you, and making anyone feel like family even if you’re a stranger – that’s what my mom’s family is like, and that’s exactly what my mom is like. I should’ve known. It was an incredibly engaging experience with my mom’s family and they have left a noticeable stamp on my heart, the way my mom does with everyone she encounters in life.

“Me and my mom’s side of the family in Nui Thanh, Vietnam”

Day by day in Vietnam, answers were revealed to me, life-long mysteries were uncovered and puzzle pieces started to fit. Each day I thought to myself – this is home. I can’t believe I am home. And I don’t mean just in location, but I mean in my heart center – my well of love. Growing up all my life being so different, it’s weird to be in a place where your name is plastered everywhere and every face you can see yourself in their eyes. And I wasn’t just connecting in looks, I was connecting in heart. I was here. This journey was the most incredible experience of my life, and the memories I have from it are forever imprinted in my soul.

My most unforgettable moment of my trip was the first time I talked to my parents when I was actually with my dad’s family on the second day. My dad is a man of very few words, but even so I have always known that he loved me, was proud of me, and that I was the world to him. But the first time I heard his voice on the phone, I was so overwhelmed with love and the feeling of how much I missed him I don’t think I’ve ever been more emotional in my life. My dad proceeded to cry with me and through choked sobs tell me he was the proudest he has ever been of me in my entire life. It’s the first time my dad has ever told me, and the only time he will ever need to. I realized this was a major accomplishment and shining moment in my life not just for me, but for my entire family. I had created and shifted our lives to a whole new paradigm by opening flood gates of connection for all of us to freely walk through.

It’s a bit cliche to say that after going to Vietnam I now know who I am. I’ve always been very aware of who I am, but there definitely were some things and some mysteries to me that were essential to knowing my full composition. This journey filled in all the blanks. I realized just how Vietnamese I actually am – that my foundation is much more culturally Vietnamese than it is American. And I am so very humbled to be a “long lost child of Vietnam” – but even more grateful to be one that finally found her way home.

If you ask me what I am now, you will surely get a new answer – I am no longer American, but I am finally Vietnamese – American. A very worthwhile hyphen I believe I have earned and will be honored to express every day for the rest of my life.

My theme for 2011 was “beauty felt lasts longer than beauty seen” and I experienced so many beautiful experiences this year all I can say is that I am very blessed.

My rules for 2011 were:

-Create, feel and revel in beautiful moments

-Practice gratitude on a daily basis to learn true, unaltered, joy

-Live my life based off of my values, not what I think is expected of me

Top 10 Events & Lessons Learned in 2011:

1. Living my life off value based decisions - I took the scary plunge this year to live based off my values and not what I think is expected of me. It was one of the best and most life changing shifts in my life.

2. Quitting my job - I had a very meaningful job, but realized I was sacrificing my personal values to commit to it. When I realized what I was doing, I put in my two weeks notice without flinching.

3. Crooked Trails Annual Auction - There are moments in your life where you feel like you’ve finally arrived. This was my moment and it felt good. Thank you to all my family and friends that were there that night with me to celebrate this incredible head way in my life.

4. Leap of Faith – I have never taken a leap of faith on love like I did this year, and have come to find that love only really exists when you truly 100% commit to that leap of faith. It’s been one of the most challenging, but more rewarding things I have ever done in my life.

5. Overcame ridiculous, overwhelming fear by diving with Hammerhead sharks in the Galapagos Islands - I traveled to the Galapagos Islands with two great and supportive friends to hyperventilate, seriously pray and prepare myself for death, but  ultimately I came out on the other end with one of the greatest experiences of my life.

6. Finding true and everlasting love – with myself:
Who knew it was so hard to accept, believe, and love of all people – yourself? As I was sitting on the unexplainably beautiful beach of Isla Isabela in the Galapagos Islands-I was staring down miles & miles of pristine white sand, clear blue sea, but best of all – not a soul in sight. This is where I found mine.

7. NYC with my brother Tom - Tom and I have had an incredible series of events over the past years that continue to bring us closer together in ways I didn’t think were possible. I learned some valuable lessons on this trip, mainly learning to live and learn with your heart, and surrounding yourself with good people.

8. Going to Cambodia - Cambodia was a very moving paradox of a country – warm, hospitable, and the nicest people I have ever encountered coupled with this deep, moving pain from many years of suffering that really make you feel for the people. Cambodia was truly a moving experience.

9. Returning to the homeland, Vietnam, to honor my family both home and abroad - A trip I’ve talked about and dreamt about from the day I was born – I made the pilgrimmage back to my home country of Vietnam for the first time ever and yes, it was emotional. I set out to find  my entire extended family on both my dad and moms sides to learn more about my parents and about my family both at home and abroad. It was everything I expected, and nothing I could have planned for. This will have a blog post on it’s own.

10. Finding the “quyen” - I’ve spent the year questioning, feeling, and not feeling beautiful. The end of my year when I finally met my dad’s family for the first time in my life, they told me not only was I beautiful, but that I possessed the rare and most important quality of the Vietnamese culture – quyen. It essentially means beautiful and charming within – that no matter how beautiful a Vietnamese girl is on the outside, if they do not possess quyen, then have nothing. But if they do possess quyen, they are to be one of the most treasured and cherished things in the world. Beautiful.

Most Impactful People of 2011 in no particular order:

Professional- Tom Truong: Tom is my life coach and got me to not only realize how to live my life on value-based decisions, but is an incredible example of how to live that way both personally and professionally. Tom is refreshing, engaging, and seeing him implement these ideals in the workplace is incredible. He’s going to do amazing things and his company is so lucky to have him.

Personal- Sean O’Dowd: Sean quit his job, fought off the naysayers and traveled the world for a year. Going against the grain of what is expected of him, Sean lived value-based decisions this year to the fullest and came back with the best thing I’ve seen in him so far – a wide open heart. Learning and living on faith and ready to take on the unknown, I’m truly inspired by the latest chapter in Sean’s life.

Spiritual- Ryan Dudley: I’m always on the quest for betterment of self – and there is no better guru than Ryan Dudley. Reflective, human, questioning life and the soul of a being while also cradling it – to say that Ryan is “deep” is an understatement. He has not only awakened my spirit, but continually feeds it just simply by being himself. That, ladies and gentlemen, is an incredible human being.

Health- Katie Grimes: When I talk about health, I mean overall wellness whether physical, emotional, but most of all – sanity.  She heard me say “I’m going to quit my job” about 100 times, and stuck it to me until I actually did it.  In moments where I say “it’s not so bad, right?” She gave me a knowing stare and a “Really?” or when it really wasn’t, a comforting “it’s not so bad, it could be _____”. Katie really kept me in check this year being the voice of reason whether it needed to be comforting or cynical, but always honest and humorous.

Love- Ian Weinberg: Ok, so I know it’s kind of cliche to pick your boyfriend to say they were the biggest impact on you for the year on love – but I promise it’s not for a cliche reason. I learned so much from Ian this year on relationships and have truly learned for the first time what it means to take a complete leap of faith, commit to something 100% through good and bad, but most of all what it really means to work in your relationship for the betterment of not just you, but for someone else and for each other. He is an inspiring partner and it has been a great experience growing and learning with him.

Friendship- Ian Wyosnick: I learned a lot about friendship from Ian this year, things that I may have seemingly knew but with Ian was not only realized but taken to the next level and put into a way of being. Loyalty, what it really means to befriend and hold a friendship with another – I am so blessed to have Ian come into my life, keep a meaningful friendship with, and that I am happy to say I know will always continue. Thanks for your inspiration, Ian.

Family- Hang Le & Cuong Nguyen: Hang & Cuong offered me the greatest gift I could have ever asked for – both were random strangers that answered a post of mine asking for volunteers to help translate English/Vietnamese with my family so I could connect and build a relationship with them. Hang & Cuong went above and beyond and spent multiple days with me as a bridge in my family in the most meaningful thing I’ve ever done. Low and behold because of it – they are now a part of our family. Thank you for everything, Hang and Cuong. I can’t express the value you have added to my life.

Thank you to the above and others that really made an impact on my life in the past year. I am so blessed to have you all to teach, learn, and grow with.

Now onward to 2012 – “My Journey Home”. Happy New Years to everyone and I wish you the best this year!

I’ve come to find over the years that what I had previously viewed as the foundation of my life – professional security by getting a great job, financial security by getting a great steady paycheck, relationship security by being married at one time – was all actually the wrong kind of security I was looking for in my life. Those first two things especially have never been my top priority values and yet those are two of the biggest things that I am spending the majority of my time and therefore my entire life on. I have been spending all my time trying to feel safe based off of what we all come to believe is expected of us in this world and what is “appropriate” for us.

I’ve learned a lot over the past year about value-based decisions and when my life coach and I first had this conversation he mentioned to me that based off what my priorities and values are in life – I was sitting in the stands and watching my game of life pass me by. My personal relationships and above all things – freedom, balance, and feeling complete were all in the arena and I wasn’t going after it. It took me over two years since that conversation to finally realize how to get in that game, and it has taken me the past year to finally play it.

By staying at MDA I will forever get a paycheck, a 401k retirement, and sit at an admirable point of my professional career. But today I gave up all of that for the promise of something much greater – the opportunity to see my nephew and niece anytime of the day; to travel and see the world and experience life in different cultures; to create a home and not be too exhausted to clean my house, read a book, cook a great meal; I can go home and spend a week with my parents and connect with them in a meaningful way; I can write with absolutely no sense of time; I can go to Vietnam and spend two months meeting my real family and learn more about who I am; I can live my life the way I know it is meant to be lived – on my time.

There is a big difference between what is seen as appropriate for your life, and what is right for your life. These are all the things that are right for my life – but I have been fearful to go out and get it because I didn’t want to lose my supposed place in the world because a job is one of the only places that will give you a title, and financial security is the most talked about ‘value’ in this culture. But once I realized my life is not valued by what a job defines me as and how much money I make – I put my two weeks notice in without flinching.

Learning to make value based decisions in my life above all things has revolutionized my world.  Shoot, it got me to quit my job two weeks ago, leaving financial security and a great position with a very reputable national organization to go after what I really value in life – my personal relationships, freedom, balance and feeling complete.

I know I will fail. I know there will be great moments of struggle, where I’ll get my butt kicked, and where I will question my self worth and my decisions. But I also know that living my life the way I want to live it and the way I know it should be lived is the riskiest thing I will ever do – but above all things, it’s the greatest risk I think I could ever take.

Over the past 3 years, I’ve spent a good portion of my time, soul, brain, and body to MDA and I am proud of the things that I was able to accomplish with the association while there. I am incredibly grateful for the people that I have befriended  over the years – not to mention the tremendous lessons I have learned along the way.  But today I ended a huge chapter in my life- today was officially my last day as the Executive Director of the Muscular Dystrophy Association.

It’s time for me to move on with my life in a big way. It’s time for me to take one of the greatest risks of my life – and that’s to live it.

If this is one of my close friends / family reading and you want to know what I’m really doing after MDA to fulfill the above, keep reading   If you don’t care, you can stop your reading now!

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What I’m doing:

So I officially got hired on as Crooked Trails Executive Director! I’m consulting so it’s a completely flex schedule. It’s the perfect position for me allowing a lot of freedom with my time, but also contributing positively with my skill set to something that makes an impact. I will still be consulting or working part-time for other non-profits that will allow this same mantra (giving me my time, but a place where I can also be committed to and contribute positively). Time is one of the most valuable things in my life, and this really allows me to use time to my advantage by creating what I want with it as opposed to being limited by it. It allows me to put my personal life and personal schedule above my “work”, and allows me to meld my personal and professional life together harmoniously. I’m very excited for this new venture and thank you all for your support! If you want to check out Crooked Trails and find out more about what they do go to:

www.crookedtrails.org

• 2010 – a year of travel! Complete 8 domestic destinations and 2 international destinations (Completed! Wahoo!)
• Live life irrationally – do things that are seemingly uncomfortable without hesitation
• Be relentless about my relationships – spend as much quality time with my family and friends as possible producing meaningful conversations, creating significant connections, and ultimately love more deeply

Based off these rules, I learned some amazing things and made some truly incredible connections.

Top 10 Events & Lessons Learned in 2010:

1. Conquered my irrational fear of cliffs by climbing them – I learned to face fears and feelings that were out of my control by taking them head on not necessarily to control them, but to be comfortable with being uncomfortable

2. Walked through NYC in a wedding dress then burned it to ashes at Golden Gardens in Seattle– I learned to trust myself in my intentions for the world and who I want to be while deflecting judgment from plenty of external forces that don’t matter.

3. Went to Sasquatch Music Festival for 3 days with some people I knew, some people I barely knew, and mostly people I didn’t know at all – and rediscovered music in a huge way while having one of the best times in my life. This trip alone sparked an entire music revolution for the year and for those in my music circle – we dance to the same drum.

4. Reconnected with an old friend, got a cabin up at Stevens Pass – then spent two full weekends with 30+ strangers for both weekends. I learned if you open your heart to the world and to people whether you know them or not, they will open themselves to you in unexpected ways and meaningful relationships can be created.

5. I walked this world alone for the first time – I’ve never been single and out of a relationship for longer than a couple weeks in my entire life, and decided now was the time. I discovered so much about myself to the point where I can say for the first time in my life – I really found myself. Not me and someone else, or me in someone else’s life, but just me.

6. In an absolute uphill battle, I rediscovered love – in God, in myself, in my family, in others. I’ve always loved the latter, but I never knew the type of love that I created this year even existed.

7. Went to Lake Chelan with two complete strangers, completed the longest car ride in history without the radio on and came back as a part of the Three Amigos. I learned friendship is not dependent upon the length of time you know someone, but how willing you are to commit and give to another.

8. Saw all of New England with the entire, and I mean entire O’Dowd Family while celebrating a family legacy. I learned family far and wide will always run deep across generations and generations when you have an amazing foundation.

9. Attending Oliver’s first Christmas concert ever. I learned in unconditional love, you will do anything, ANYTHING, for someone even for just 30 seconds if it’s important. I also learned doing those daily tasks for parents is stressful!

10. Instead of spending my most sacred moment of the year – Christmas with my family – in Colton, I went to Argentina & Uruguay for the warmest Christmas ever with my boyfriend. I learned some risks are worth taking and committing relentlessly to another without knowing  how it may turn out  – is worth it (and it was).

Top 10 Impactful People in no particular order:

I focus on maintaining balance in 6 particular areas of my life as listed below. The following people were beacons of light, people of inspiration, masters or mentors of the category and have helped me to grow and stay balanced in that particular area which  made the biggest impact on my year for me. The words “thank you” do not do justice to the following people for who you are, what you’ve contributed to my life – and I am forever grateful for you in 2010, now, and in the future.  Thank you – I think you are truly, truly amazing. I’m writing something quick about each of you, but I’ll be sending you all a message instead on my full sentiments. I love you all!

Professional – Kevin Wong: I have had the divine pleasure of seeing Kevin grow professionally over the past years and see him really take his life by the reins and succeed, succeed, succeed. I am so proud of Kevin and his accomplishments and his work is just phenomenal – especially his photography. Check him out at: http://www.kvwong.com/

Family – Cori Trahan: Cori is the most amazing mother that has endured and embraced motherhood in unlikely and challenging circumstances. She is the epitome of strength and perseverance just for the sake of unconditional love – and I hope one day to be just as amazing of a mother as she is.

Love – Seth Maxwell:  Seth taught me a lot about love by side commentating my entire love life with wildly inappropriate humor and brutal honesty. Seth is the type of friend that doesn’t tell you what you want to hear, he’s the type of friend that tells you what you need to hear and that’s the only type of friend that should exist. This year – I really needed to hear it. Thank you, Seth. For being a true friend and making me tackle things head on with your sick sense of humor. I am forever grateful.

Health – Tom Truong: My brother is in wellness which is not just your physical state, but also emotional, spiritual, and your overall wellness as a human being. He became my life coach this year and made sure I stayed the course of balance, peace, and wellness. You are brilliant, dear brother – I wouldn’t have gotten through the year without your listening, your coaching, and above all love.

Spiritual – Ron Wheeler: Ron taught me more about God, my relationship with God, and the latter than I’ve learned in my entire life. Without Ron I would be lost spiritually and therefore lost everywhere else in my life. Ron restored my foundation, my well of love, and gave me my life back. Ron – you are the ultimate mentor, teacher, and above all friend.

Personal Development – Ryan Dudley: Ryan leaves me speechless, but only because I’m always deep in thought trying to discover more about myself and my purpose in the world because Ryan encourages you and opens doors to your soul that you didn’t know existed. He is insightful, incredibly human in the most complimentary way, and is so rich with love you can’t help but feel it deep within you when you’re with him.

Friendship – Jason Shrick, Katie Grimes, Alaina Miller, Brian Moore: to all of you, your friendship contributed and uplifted me this year in amazing ways. I am always late, I triple-book myself, and am terrible about phone calls – but you accept me for who I am and stood by me, offered to restore me – little by little, day by day. I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for your friendship and what you’ve done for me. I love you all.

Other impactful people for the year worth mentioning: Crissy Hathaway, Kathleen Moser, Michael Russell, Laura Rosenthal, Hans Rasmussen, Riley Waring, Bryan Pierce, Rick Parchen, Candace Cusano, Sean O’Dowd, Brian Case, Ian Weinberg, Ashley Elders – Shalabh Chaundri – Justin Frank – Cap Puckhaber – Dani Friedrich – Johnny Fever all as one, Ian Wysonick, John Garner, Adam Ellis, and plenty of people I’m forgetting:

you all had a significant impact on me this year, whether carrying over from the previous year, in just a short blurb, or we are just in the beginning. Thank you for contributing to my life and I am grateful for your presence in this world.

Love, love, love….I am looking forward to 2011!

I am 3 days away from the end, but I don’t need to wait until the end to know I have learned tremendously through this giving experience especially through the holidays. This is the first time I’ve never really bought Christmas presents and instead gave and received much more valuable things through time, talent, and treasure.

Just a quick scope of the things that I gave over the past 29 days was anything from babysitting my niece & nephew to give my brother and his wife some time together, hosting family at my house for the first time for Apple Cup, buying tequila shots for co-workers (seriously, it’s much needed), simply asking a stranger how their day was and just listening to them, sharing one of my personal loves by sending a friend and her family to their first Seahawks game, taking a risk and buying a ticket to Argentina to be with my boyfriend instead of my family on my most holiest of holidays – Christmas weekend, buying a stranger lunch, helping friends move, attending my nephew’s first Christmas concert, called friends I hadn’t talked to in over a decade, helping others make connections by connecting them together, gave many compliments, but most of all – loved, loved, loved.

This project was incredible, not just to realize what life is like when your focus every day is on other people, but that you realize some of the best gifts you can give are actually for yourself. Sometimes you need to give yourself time, to use your talents for you, and put your treasures to use – for you. Every gift you give to others, you inherently get back as well – in gratitude, in faith, in love.

I whole-heartedly recommend this project to anyone that feels something is missing or has lost focus lately – I plan on doing it again next holiday season!

Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all!

Since my first post on the 29 gifts in 29 days inspired so many people, I decided that was going to be my first day of giving and I now move into Day 2, and I couldn’t have been approached with a better ask. A friend, Firefighter, and therefore work colleague of mine – Eric Hansen – sent me an email as a request to donate toward his participation in the annual Cystic Fibrosis Foundation stairclimb – an event that in my earlier years I volunteered and helped manage for several years. It’s a cause I whole heartedly believe in and a cause that also helped jump start my non-profit career.

Eric and others are climbing in honor of Allison Thrasher, daughter of a fellow Firefighter who died a few years ago from complications due to Cystic Fibrosis. She was only 4 years old. In addition to that, Allison’s mother (also named Allison) who is the fellow Firefighter’s wife, passed away just 3 weeks ago losing her battle to breast cancer. My heart is swelling for this family, and the moment Eric told me the story I was burning through ways in how to fundraise money not just to fight back, but to honor this beautiful family.

I write this post with tears as I’ve seen so many families endure this struggle due to my job. However, if there is anything I have learned with this position, it’s that I refuse to get used to this feeling because I would never want to take away genuine emotion to any person in this world because they deserve it from us. Just imagining the pain that the father / husband is going through, I believe, is strong enough to resonate in all of us.  So Thrasher family – please know my sympathy and condolences is not of repetition but of true, heartfelt emotion. My heart will be with all of the Thrasher Family and their community as they climb those 56 flights of stairs on Thursday at the Tower at 1201 3rd Avenue (formerly Washington Mutual Tower).  You will most definitely be in my thoughts and prayers for the week. Climb hard, climb fast – and I’ll see you at the bottom with a beer!

And to Eric – congratulations on raising $500 and growing and doing something so giving. You inspire me!

Part of my giving on day 2, is not only donating but sharing this story with you to give YOU the opportunity to give as well. If you would like to honor this family – please go to Eric’s page at: http://stairclimb.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=433916&lis=1&kntae433916=8484F3C409994AC4864A464761085CC6&supId=312126854

If donations are closed, send me a message at liz.truong@gmail.com and I will make sure that your donation is put to honor and acknowledge this family.

This story makes my heart feel so empty…but giving on behalf of this family to fight back definitely helps fill it back up.

To the spirit of giving…

It’s finally the Sunday after my llloonnngggg extended Thanksgiving vacation thanks to Snomageddon 2010 that hit Seattle on Monday of last week that also closed my office for 2.5 days to move us right into Thanksgiving and a long weekend. The snow and ice came sweeping into Seattle with a vengeance and shut down our city in one beautiful but chaotic winter wonderland.

But all that meant for me was laser focus work from home (which was actually great!) and more meaningful time with friends and family. I spent Thanksgiving wrapped in gratitude, warm conversation, much laughter and ending the day with a full heart. Family and friends really make the holidays what it is and helping us to remember what matters to us most.

The day after Thanksgiving, I woke up at 6 AM but not for Black Friday shopping with the rest of the crazy world, but instead to load up my car to meet 10 Firefighters in Auburn and 1 wonderful family – the Pretz family that includes 11 year old Colby with muscular dystrophy, to do our Fill-the-Boot fundraiser to catch those Black Friday shoppers. As you all know I absolutely despise mornings especially when the sun isn’t up yet so I wasn’t all too thrilled to head out in freezing cold temperatures. I will say, there is something to say about that silence when you’re up that early in the morning however – the startling yet beautiful silence is enough to put your heart at ease and to refresh your mind in a way that can’t be cleansed at any other time in the day.

Fill-the-Boot provides much needed funds for my organization (Muscular Dystrophy Association – MDA) but the thing that I love the most about Fill-the-Boot is just seeing how happy people are when they are dropping money in the boot because they know they’re doing something good. Today, however, Fill-the-Boot is a little different. We are moving into the holiday season, during a time where giving means more than ever. During the holidays giving is what we do, but during these economic times especially that giving is saved, measured, and prioritized. Seeing people drop money in the boot gave people an extra sense of pride and fulfillment that I normally don’t see and I know it’s because of the holidays. I especially loved seeing the families who are showing their kids what it means and what it looks like to give back to your community and how proud they are of the lesson.

Fill-the-Boot on Black Friday really drove it home for me that the holidays is all about giving. On my drive home, I thought about what means the most during these times and just as I mentioned previously, time and conversation with my family and friends is what makes it worthwhile. But there are a lot of people that didn’t get the extravagant Thanksgiving dinner that I did, and didn’t get to have meaningful conversations like I did. Giving is the one thing during the holidays that really makes me feel fulfilled, and I started to brainstorm on ways that I could give during a time where people feel most alone, depressed, and need meaning in their life more than ever – both people I know and love as well as strangers.

I decided that I wanted to give something every day during the holidays – and that same day as I strolled through Barnes & Nobles, I found a book called “29 Gifts in 29 Days” – perfect. I decided I’m going to do 29 gifts in 29 days through the holiday season in the way of time, talent and treasure.

So let it be known – I am declaring the month of December as the month of giving.

After my initial blog post and the overwhelming response I’ve gotten from it – I am now considering this blog post my Day 1 of Giving to inspire anyone that wants to join me in this journey or learn more about other people that have done it – you can check out www.29gifts.org. I’m not necessarily following the mold of what the book goes through, but the premise of giving during a time when it’s needed most is more definitely my underlying theme.

This officially marks my 29 days of giving and I will be blogging my journey along the way about what I give, why I give, and what I get in return because of it.

Happy Holidays everyone – tis the season for giving!

Happy 1st birthday! I know you are too young to read this now, but when you open this on your 18th birthday there are a few things I wanted to tell you and I decided what better way to tell you than to write this letter on your 1st birthday when I’m reminiscing about the day you came into this world and delighted us all. So right now, Baby Layla, you are one tiny precious little gift – but when you read this, you’ll no longer be such a little thing!

Baby Layla, you were beautiful from the start. You came out a healthy baby girl but in very odd circumstances that I’m sure your parents will tell you about over the course of your life that by the time you read this, you’ll know what I’m talking about. You were such a gift and instantly loved by all. We had been patiently tracking your course for the 9 months, I even got to live with you for awhile (that might be a much more adult conversation we’ll have after you read this letter – some serious girl talk!) and were patiently awaiting your arrival. Well you came unexpectedly and in a hurry but some times the best things in life you just can’t plan for.

Well one of the best things I didn’t expect, was the gift that you were actually giving me, sweet Layla – other than yourself. You see, I’ve always loved your parents. Your mom and I used to work together in a basement sitting literally 10 feet from each other for 2 years, and developed a great friendship. I was one of her first friends here in Seattle, was there when your dad proposed (not physically there but you get what I mean), was in their wedding, was there when they bought their first house and moved them in, was there when you were born – and everything in between. I always loved your parents, but you taught me one of the greatest lessons that I will keep with me forever dear Layla and that’s in life you eventually find the people you can live with, but you’ll most importantly find the people you really can’t live without. I most definitely can live with your mom (I have!) but I definitely can’t live without her – and it took you my dear, to really make me feel it.

My heart vividly remembers the day you were born, and when I relive it in my thoughts, in my words, I can’t speak of the day without shedding tears because I can still feel it. Your mom is one very special lady and I remember while you were being born, I had the weirdest feeling – the moment I finally saw my phone light up from your dad I was instantly sick to my stomach – I knew something wasn’t right. Your birth may have been a complication, but you never were a complication, my dear – let me say that first. I’ve never felt that way before about anyone, and the thought of losing your mother honestly brought me to my knees and I wept, and I prayed harder than I had in a very long time.

This all may sound very dramatic, emotional, and terrible – but I assure you it is not. It was a very beautiful thing – because I realized just how much I loved your mother so. She is an incredible person, and over the next 18 years by the time you read this letter – I know she is going to prove to all of us leaps and bounds that she is even more incredible than I know her to be today. She is very human, don’t get me wrong – but she is one of the strongest, self-preserved, loving and capable people that I know and will prove to be by the time you read this – and I’m not bragging when I say this, but I know a lot of people – and that’s saying a lot!

I know I’m singing your mother’s praises, but I’m not forgetting your father either. Your dad, from the day you decided to shove your way into the world – has been the most incredible father. I must admit I was a little worried at first, but your dad as far as I’m concerned – could be mistaken for Superman. He has been nothing but the best man since the day I met him, and I know he will continue to do so to you and your mom. So treat him like he’s one of your greatest heroes, because he’s one of mine and he deserves it.

All in all, Baby Layla, this letter was just to tell you thank you – thank you for giving me an incredible gift of the love I have for your mother and realizing it because of you – and to tell you a couple things: first being, I know you’re going to hear this a million times over – but stop torturing your parents. We get it. You’re hip, they’re not, you’re young, they’re old. But all in all, they love you with everything they have, and not many people will provide that unconditional love for you in this world. And I mean truly unconditional.

Second, if you don’t already I promise you will – but love your parents unconditionally as well and realize just how lucky you are to have them. Good parents are something to be cherished, and I know how annoying parents can be with their rules and weird things they do to you blah blah blah blah, but ultimately they do it because they care and in the big picture – you are one lucky little lady.

And lastly, please hug your mother, hug your father, and tell them you love them. You never know when you actually won’t be able to anymore – I know the day I realized just how real that statement was, and won’t ever skip on telling them either for the rest of my life.

So promise me that you will utilize the time you have with them to torture them the least amount as possible, love them unconditionally, realize how lucky you are to have them – and tell them so.

I love you baby Layla – you were a gift for so many reasons. I’ve loved watching you grow so far and can’t wait to see what you’re like when you’re 18 and you read this letter – I will have a present waiting for you!

Hugs,

Liz

But the 4th of July is also another type of celebration – a day that allows me to revel in something that means – well, everything to me.

Just two months ago, my parents celebrated their 35th anniversary of being in the United States. In 1975, both my parents immigrated to this great nation in search of freedom and a better life. My parents came over during the Vietnam War, running from the grasp of communism and a rampant war that tore about their country, homes, and family.

My mom was raised in a large family in North Vietnam with a lot of brothers and sisters – in fact more brothers and sisters than her parents could handle. So my mom was sent with her Aunt and Uncle to raise her. During the war, much of her family was separated and discombobulated, so my mom had to seek out on her own, and eventually sought refuge in the United States.

The US at the time were shipping Vietnamese natives out of the country, the only requirement was that you had to have a birth certificate or any paperwork to document your existence. My mom, since being separated from her family, had no documentation. As she stood at the gates waiting for the planes that were taking Vietnamese out of the country, on last call a kind woman and her family were waiting for their sister and because she didn’t show up and the planes were taking off, they gave my mom the sister’s birth certificate so she could find a better life here in the United States.

My dad, born and raised in South Vietnam near Saigon or Ho Chi Minh City, although 100% Vietnamese, enlisted as a US Marine to fight against communism and what he believed was the greater good for his country. As the story has been told to me, my dad was fighting with a brigade on the beach when their superior told them “swim or die” – in which, my dad swam – and swam, swam, swam, and eventually was picked up by the US Navy near the Philippines and brought here to the US.

Both my parents ended up in internment camp at Camp Pendelton, California where they met in fell in love. Both my parents were “adopted” and sponsored  - my mom ended up in San Antonio, TX with my wonderful grandparents Carl & Yolanda Urbano, and my dad ended up in a small, farming community in Eastern Washington called Colton thanks to 7 families, namely my grandparents Gene & Shirley Schultheis and the Catholic Church. After my parents got married they permanently moved here to Colton where my three older brothers and I were raised and my parents currently still live.

27 years after my parents left Vietnam, my mom finally found her family. She traveled back to Vietnam to reunite with them and one of the eeriest things  she witnessed was seeing her tombstone as her family thought she was dead. What’s crazy is in Vietnam, they do not keep very accurate records of paperwork. Your birthday, then, is quite arbitrary as we all celebrate our birthday on New Years. So your family is really the only ones that know your birthday. When my mom went back to Vietnam, she found her real birthdate on the tombstone – November 20th, 1958 – coincidentally enough, the same day, month and year that matched the birth certificate that was given to her by a kind woman to come to the United States.

This week on the eve of the 4th of July, my mom somehow catching up with the times, learned how to use facebook – and after 35 years of searching, my mom found the family of the woman who gave her the birth certificate that changed her life. She said she called the family, they connected, caught up, cried many tears of joy, but best of all – got to finally put an end to something she’s been searching for since she got here – closure.

My parents came to America with no knowledge of this country – they didn’t know anything about the culture, the language, the people – but in search of a better life, my parents came to the United States with nothing but the clothes they were wearing. Since coming to the US 35 years ago, my parents became citizens of the United States, bought a house and put 4 kids through college – thanks to the help of a wonderful and loving community and a family that chose us. They have worked hard, and loved harder – to have the lives they’ve always been dreaming of – all thanks to this great nation and the people in it.

My parents are incredible people, and if you’re reading this mom and dad – I am so proud to be your daughter, to be a part of this family, and to learn from your example – to live from your example. Happy 4th of July to my whole family, I am so grateful for you and for this great country.

4th of July is my favorite holiday – not just to celebrate the Independence of this great nation, but to celebrate what this great nation gave to my family – freedom – and the best life we could’ve ever imagined.

One of my commitments for the year was to uphold and embrace each experience for it’s uniqueness and to really just go out and do it;  to do things that are seemingly uncomfortable and experience life for all that it has to offer. This has included a bevy of random trips, experiences, new people and inevitably – some amazing memories. Thus far in my 6 months of upholding this commitment, it has gotten me to form meaningful relationships with friends new and old, a boyfriend that I absolutely adore, crazy fun dance-your-face-off moments that make me smile with elation just thinking about it – and a base for future random experiences and excursions to continue rolling because of it all. I feel empowered, loved, and above all fulfilled.

In addition to these things along the way, I have started to form and fill in these ideas of my purpose and realizing what my destiny is for the life that I have – what I am truly passionate about, what I’m longing for and slowly but surely the foundation is being laid for a brand new path in my life for me to be a part of something I don’t even know about – which is very scary and exciting at the same time.

The path to get here hasn’t been easy, and I’m not even close to reaching my destination. But it sure has been one hell of a ride so far…stay tuned for where my wanderlust takes me…including a new blog explaining just what this means.

Oh, and by the way – one of my new commitments is to write everyday – whether it’s blogging, journaling, re-writing, editing, etc. So…well consider this a filler blog to help me get moving on this commitment

Cheers!