I’ve spent a considerable amount of time this week (like every week) lusting after jungle hikes and turquoise water, and I’m sure in some ways all of you are doing the same. I’ve have phone, email, chat, and in-person conversations with friends old and new this week to share stories and a common bond that has threaded us all in this weaving of life – one that has defined, shaped, and forever changed us simply through one magnificent thing: travel.

Travel has changed my life in the past decade in significant ways. It has opened my mind to the possibility of not only my immediate influences and community, but to the possibilities of the world and the expansion of the human soul. It has taught me my greatest lessons, allowed me to relish and experience beauty and two things that has forever changed my life that I’m sure you can agree with:

My family lost an incredible man this week –  my Grandpa Gene Schultheis that has truly rendered me speechless when trying to write about him these past couple of months. The virtues my Grandpa will be remembered for are far too enumerated for me to list, but I know the one thing I will remember him for – and that’s true, unaltered, unconditional love given completely to me and my family because of nothing but choice.

After my journey home to Vietnam, I learned “the rest of the story” of my parents journey to America – something that I really couldn’t see before until traveling back to meet my parents families for the first time and realizing many heartbreaking but also very  humbling truths about love and family. “The rest of the story” is not actually about the successes of my family, but actually about my Grandparents: Gene & Shirley Schultheis, and Carl & Yolanda Urbano who taught me and gave me one of the greatest gifts a human being could ever ask for – and that’s chosen family.

As you’ve read in previous blog posts of mine, my parents are both immigrants from Vietnam; coming over to the United States in 1975 during the Vietnam War escaping a war-torn country. For a recap of their journey, here is my 4th of July blog about their journey: Celebrating Independence For My Family.

A recap of where we left off with my parents story as told from my 4th of July blog:
After taking their own separate journeys of leaving their home country of Vietnam, both my parents ended up in internment camp at Camp Pendelton, California where they met and fell in love. Both of them came to America with no knowledge of this country – they didn’t know anything about the culture, the language, the people – but in search of a better life, my parents came to the United States with nothing but the clothes they were wearing.

And here is the rest of the story:
After the United States had a huge influx of Vietnamese immigrants due to the war, they put all the refugees at internment camp at Camp Pendelton, California until they could figure out how to displace them in the US. All the while, not only were my parents in a new country with no knowledge of where they were and what their future was going to be, but they had plenty of time to realize that they had to completely start over a new life from ground zero. When I went home to Vietnam, one of the greatest things I learned was about the sacrifices my parents have made in their lifetime. Imagine right now that China comes to Seattle, rips apart our city and burns the place down. Somehow you miraculously escape onto a boat, and end up in China, not knowing anything about the culture, can’t understand the language they speak, and now with the realization that you will never see your family again; you may never talk to your family again; the life you used to have no longer exists; you need to learn a completely new language and culture to survive; and somehow, you have to decide if and how to go on with the rest of your life from this point forward, with no one. This is unfortunately the hard truth that my parents faced.

My parents stayed in this internment camp for nearly 4 months contemplating this new harsh reality. The thought of having to uproot and get thrown into a foreign country to never see my parents or brothers again is excruciating and how my parents found the resilience and strength to say – OK, this is it, I’m moving forward; time to learn English and build a life – is far beyond me. What happened next, however, was the key to my parents survival in this new life, but also the reason my family even exists today and in the way that it does. And it’s all thanks to my Grandparents Carl & Yolanda Urbano, and Gene & Shirley Schultheis.

Our story with Grandpa Gene & Grandma Shirley:
Back in Colton, Washington – a small, farming community of 300 people – the Catholic Church had sent out an all-call to families to see if they could sponsor any of the Vietnamese refugees that had recently come to this country. 7 families including Gene & Shirley Schultheis, pooled their resources together and sponsored a group of them to come to Colton to start their new lives. My dad, an 18-year old soldier, arrived in this all White-Caucasian town as we can only imagine, as quite the outsider. Although the 7 families were integral parts of my family history and still are involved today, for some reason Gene & Shirley took it upon themselves to go above and beyond the notion of sponsoring, and decided to take in my dad quite simply as their son. When my parents got married and my mom moved up to Colton to be with my dad, my Grandparents Gene & Shirley took them in and supported them – they gave them a home, found them jobs, helped them with English, but above all, my Grandparents gave them someone not only to call Mom and Dad, but someone to be their Mom and Dad. Gene and Shirley gave my parents the greatest gift to receive as a human being- they gave my parents a loving family.

My parents had lost everything but their life coming to this country, especially family. When I went back to Vietnam to meet my blood relatives who are most definitely still family, I learned of the sacrifice and pain my parents have endured to leave parts of those bonds and that love behind. But I also learned how important my Grandpa Gene & Grandma Shirley are and how intricately they were woven into the fabrics of our family because of no other reason but their selfless choice to weave us in. We did not marry into this family, and they surely were not looking to have more children. It was merely a choice thanks to God to deliver us to the Schultheis family and for them to just decide to make us a part of their own.

My Grandparents were there at our births, graduations, sports games, baptisms, holidays, weddings – even divorces, not to mention receiving the same wonderful Christmas present every year from them still to this day. They gave my parents a Mom and Dad. They gave our family a home, twice actually when we lived with them for awhile. They gave my brother a job out on the farm, and I’m pretty sure Grandpa Gene was the Creator of “I got your nose”, although that game confused me quite a bit when I was little girl. Grandpa Gene also made my dad quit smoking when we were kids, a knee to bounce on and undeniable fashion sense with his hats and suspenders. My Grandparents also encouraged me, told me they were proud of me, and were the ones responsible for telling me from the get go how beautiful of a writer I was and to never stop. I write because of them.

I know a lot of us have chosen family – especially through marriage and adoption (and my Grandparents selflessly did that too). My family has had the unique experience of gaining chosen family, however, not because of any of the traditional ways, but simply because of two great people that had empathy, and  just made the choice to give selflessly, whole-heartedly, and unconditionally their love to make our lives better – to make our family what it is today and forever.

To my Grandpa Gene who we lost this weekend – it is overwhelming thinking about the amount of love and what you have provided for me and my family, simply because you chose to. A hardworking farmer with an even softer heart, you were the foundation of our family here in America and we would not be a family or have survived without your love, guidance, and truly – just being a Father to my parents, and a Grandfather to my brothers and I. You and Grandma always tell us how proud you have been to be a part of our family, but it is an understatement to tell you how honored we are to even have the opportunity to make you proud. I love you, and I will miss you with all of my heart.

To one of the most selfless, loving, greatest men I will ever know – my life will always be in part a tribute to you, Grandpa Gene.

“My Journey Home” – What I learned this year was more about the notion of what home really is and how important it is to build a strong foundation in all the key areas to truly feel at home with yourself and within your life. Home is not just your physical structure but also the core of you- your values, your well of love, the things that must be solid for you to feel complete. This year was a great journey home going back to basics and solidifying my core, re-evaluating where the cracks are and filling them in – and was an especially meaningful time because for the majority of it I wasn’t in my physical home.

My rules for 2012 were:

-Deepen my sense of home within myself

-Continue to build and solidify my core relationships

-Practice consistent behaviors within my core values to cement a solid foundation

Top 10 Events & Lessons Learned in 2012:

1. Solidifying my foundation with my first trip Home to Vietnam- Starting the year off in Vietnam to learn about my foundation and to fill in the cracks of everything that I was missing really set me up for an incredible year on my journey home. I learned a great deal this year about where I come from and who I am.

2. Changing the landscape of my work life – I finally got to my final destination of what I’ve worked so hard these past couple of years to achieve – balance of living out my personal values first and foremost without sacrifice to my career while still contributing to society and the professional world in a meaningful way – and I was very unapologetic about it. I have finally achieved great balance in my work life.

3. Pushing vulnerability to the max - I really explored how the power of vulnerability could shape, define, and really build character this year by wading through some very uncomfortable waters and coming out the strongest (and weakest) person I’ve been yet. A very worthy experiment, and something I will continue to work on day after day.

4. Taking on Transplant House(TH) - In my “journey home”, I found a great organization that happens to provide homes for organ transplant patients in need – talk about ironic. I got back into a healthcare nonprofit where I feel I am the most valuable, the most fulfilled to my core, and that naturally plays to my skill and abilities. I am so grateful that this organization was willing to take on a young CEO and I spent the year proving that they would not regret their decision. I had a GREAT year with TH.

5. Long distance relationship- Never say never. If every long distance relationship was like this one, I would take it in a heartbeat. Branden and I made the most of our situation, and the best things for a relationship came out of it – strong communication, trust, and a great bond that must be there to be able to stay intact for this long apart. PS. Thank heavens for skype, facebook, text messaging, phone calls, and cheap weekend flights on Southwest airlines (22 flights to be exact). Shout out to Scott & Heather Sund – you guys are our heroes who did it without all this technology!

6. Further developed my core group of friends- I really learned this year that I am only as good as the people I surround myself with – and I spent my year creating a very tight knit circle and focusing on strong relationships within that circle. I have never felt more mutual love and support since really honing in on this special group of people and I look forward to continuing to build up those relationships. You know who you are.

7. Discovering Nashville - 
I. Love. Nashville. I’m sure you’ve heard me say it a million times over the course of the year, and I mean it from the bottom of my heart. The warmth and glow of community and the notion of small town traditional values still ringing through a big city – this place just felt like home.

8.  The Re-Emergence of Fireball Whiskey - This one should be on everyone’s list – how fireball has come back into our lives and with good reason. We have so much to celebrate and share with one another and I definitely did that with many friends from all around the world over something as simple as a fireball shot. From the Austrians, to the Puerto Ricans, the Australians, the Swedes, my fellow Americans and many more – a lot was celebrated over fireball this year. It’s back, baby!

9. Truong Family Thanksgiving- We have officially cemented a new family tradition with an early Truong Family Thanksgiving where everyone in my family far and wide in the US comes together for one weekend to celebrate what we are thankful for. This one was additionally special, as some of my closest friends took their first Colton trip to join in my family craziness and share the most important part of my life- where I grew up that still is my foundation today.

10.  A ridiculous(ly awesome) December- Over 40 hours of driving and 6 flights, Branden and I managed to plan the most hectic holiday season. Ever. And it was probably the greatest holiday season. Ever. Flash floods and waist-deep water, celebrating a beautiful union of friends in Mexico, seeing both families, long road trips, snow storms and cancelled flights, kindness from strangers, surprise presents, cabin with friends, and no time to ourselves – we definitely spent the holidays giving as much of ourselves and we have no complaints about it.

Most Impactful People of 2012 in no particular order:

Professional- Tom Truong: I don’t like to pick the same people for the same category two years in a row, but Tom is just KILLING it right now professionally that I just don’t have a choice. It is amazing to see someone doing what they are meant to be doing in their element, to see them grow exponentially, and to watch it all happen organically is such an inspiration. I’m looking forward to seeing what 2013 has in store for Tom.

Personal- Kristen Shaw: It has been really incredible to hear Kristen say what is and isn’t working for her life and adjusting to what she wants and then just full throttle, flat out doing it without hesitation – no matter how scary, vulnerable, or unconventional it may be. Kristen is SO inspirational and a great example of someone who really commits and follows her dreams. Seriously, go get ‘em Kristen.

Spirituality- Ian Wyosnick: Spirituality means so many different things, and I really was inspired by Ian this year. He is one of the most humbly self-aware people that I know and just lays it all out there on the line, as is, for you to see. It takes a lot of courage and a truly great man to be willing to expose and connect with people the way that Ian is willing to do. I am so grateful for the things we have shared over the year and look forward to that growing.

Health- Branden Doyle: I hope some of you are reading this and are actually laughing because of the background story to this, but it’s true for that reason (and others!). The fact is two-a-day-workouts would not have occurred without him both when he did know it and even before he knew it. It’s not just the physical health that I really commend Branden on pushing me for, however, it’s the balance of both physical and mental health that I have found because of him. Branden is a great counterweight for me mentally and keeping sanity in an insane life – is key.

Love- Jon & Christie Ribary: Ok, so Jon & Christie aren’t ‘winning’ this category just because they got married in Mexico this year. This couple has inspired me exponentially over the year with their relationship, and their engagement + wedding was just the pinnacle of what we all know and love about these two. I have never met a couple whose love you want to gush about just like it’s your own. They are amazing as individuals, but even more so an unstoppable energy, love, and everything together as one. I have never met anything like them together, and it is overwhelmingly inspiring when it comes to love.

Friendship- Matt Olson:  Matt keeps me grounded and is a constant reminder to me of the person he grew up with and to stay true to that. He’s also one of those friends that you can count on relentlessly with no explanation. All you have to do is say the word and Matt is there for anything – to help, to talk, to have fun, you name it. There aren’t many friends like Matt in this world that you can count on 100% without wavering.

Family- Katie Grimes & Jason Schrick: My amigos – it was just a couple years ago that we all met, clicked, and have continued to grow and love each other in unwavering support ever since. This year it really switched over to me that our friendship has truly become family and what commitment it takes for that to happen when you choose your family. I love you both so very much. OK, I’ll stop – it makes me a little weepy.

There are so many of you that fit into these categories that truly made a huge impact on my life this year with divine inspiration. Whether coming into my life part-way through the year, or a lifelong friend who underwent a courageous and beautiful change – please know that I thank you being a part of my life and you all fit into the above in so many ways.

Thank you to the above and others that really made an impact on my life in the past year. I am so blessed to have you all to teach, learn, and grow with.

Now onward to 2013 – “Coming Full Circle”. Happy New Years to everyone and I wish you the best this year!

For past lists scroll through the past posts or go to:
www.liztruong.com/2011toplist
www.liztruong.com/2010toplist

So with that said.

Love is by far the most interesting topic because our whole lives are centered around it. My dating stories, for example, are my friends favorite stories to hear because of the hilarious, grimy details that we crave like the time I got Wedding Crasher-ed Bradley Cooper engagement announcement style, to the awe-inspiring, makes your heart leap stories like my Nebraska Boy who after $1,500 and 2 flight changes later in the weekend of just meeting each other- proved that love can be crazy, but that’s just the way love is (Sigh, just talking about Nebraska Boy makes me swoon).

I have been very fortunate to have loved and been loved a great deal in my lifetime. I’ve had the amazing opportunity to feel truly cared for by some incredible people – felt beautiful, wanted, sought after, and best of all, loved unconditionally by another. My life has honestly been graced by, in my opinion, some of the greatest men anyone could ever meet. Because of that, I’ve been able to still remain friends, in some cases very close friends, with nearly all of my ex-lovers.  Unfortunately for me but probably fortunate for you due to the ‘what actually entertains you’ factor – that’s not what this blog post is about.

With great love also comes tremendous heartbreak. I know we’ve all been there. There are dozens of love songs but probably even more songs written about whether or not to allow the suffering of a truly deep cutting heartbreak to keep you from fully loving again. Sure, I’ve gotten my heart broken – badly – but not until this moment have I experienced a heartbreak where the feeling of what those songs resonate about are starting to come into play. And unfortunately it’s not good enough to just tell you “I’m heartbroken” for you to understand how I feel.

Being loved by great men means that what ended up separating us was it just didn’t work out – it wasn’t compatible. I am not saying I didn’t make any mistakes because I have surely made my fair share of mistakes in my past relationships – some big ones that I’ve paid the ultimate consequence for with deep sorrow. After all this time, however, it has taken to this point to have that relationship that ended in the only other way it can end instead of “it just didn’t work out” – it ended because of dishonesty, deception, unfaithfulness of the heart and just down right sketchiness behind my back, by a person who told me for over a year that he loved me and couldn’t imagine living his life without me. After spending weeks with some of the low-down dirtiest would-do-anything-to-make-a-buck-including-run-over-their-mother crowd in an certain industry I now despise, it really aggravates me that through it all, someone I loved used me at the expense of my deepest, most meaningful feelings to do the same thing to me. It ended in the way you absolutely don’t want it to end, and this is the first time I’ve had to deal with this type of heartbreak.

I know every person reading that statement is reacting in some way – two part because they realize sh*! just got real because I’ve always refused to talk honestly about love and relationships, and because anyone that has been through this before knows the stabbing pain that is accompanied by this type of heartbreak. It’s a heavily loaded statement. And it’s not that I am trying to put anyone on blast or be overly dramatic- the proof is already written in stone quite literally that this is what happened and I just have to deal with it. Period. What I realize is that love is the most important area in all ours lives, and some of us don’t really talk about how we honestly feel about it because it is by far the most vulnerable part of our lives – whether it’s how we truly feel about being notoriously single, in a relationship, or undergoing a broken heart. The truth is, I’m devastated. I’m beyond broken that sometimes it feels I’m irreparable. I feel absolutely betrayed, not good enough, disregarded and tossed aside like I never mattered in the first place. To say it’s tough to feel that way not because of  what some random person did or said, but because someone you loved treated you with so much UN-love is tough, feels like an understatement.

Through this experience I have found I talk about everything else in my life that matters- everything else I feel, experience, that digs deep into me. But love, the one thing that matters most to me and is my most vulnerable topic- is the one topic that I have always, always, always avoided because it was the one thing that could keep me from getting too close to others including my own family, due to the fact it would truly expose me for who I am – that I’m not always resilient and strong and can brush everything off like it’s nothing when the truth is this is by far the most broken I’ve ever felt, and I’m hiding it. I’ve tried to numb myself, busy myself, avoid myself, do everything that I can to avoid facing the pain of what actually just happened but honestly, I just can’t do it anymore.

So instead, I’m confessing to you my broken heart. I’m showing you my “weakest moment”, but by deciding to be vulnerable with you all about how I really feel, I’m trying to turn it into my strongest moment. I’m not a woman scorned, spiteful and airing my dirty laundry for all to see. I’m just a woman with a heart exposed hoping that when I show you my broken one, you will have the courage to show me yours and that will help mend mine and yours because of it. By telling you about who I really am and how I really feel, I can stop acting like who I think you see me as and I can just be me. Even if it is broken. I’m not looking for sympathy or “you go girl” statements or gasp-sighs from drama. All I want is for me to finally acknowledge that I can feel this way and show it, and that somewhere out there, there is a “me too”. And hopefully, with your help, I’ll start to feel whole again.

“Me and my high school volleyball team”

I had always identified much more closely as an American, and don’t let me fool you – I definitely am an American. But I always knew I was different. Besides being a regular American kid that played sports, was a cheerleader, rode on tractors in a place where every country song ever written rings true – I was also the kid that was much darker, went to school smelling like Asian noodles and who’s parents really believed in the approach of “just say no” to drugs because they were so much more strict than the other parents – that’s all they had to teach because we knew better.

Still, identifying as an American felt right but wasn’t always right. When you grow up the way that I did with no other Asians in your midst until college at 18 years old, no matter how the kids treat you, there is still a paign of not belonging that always sits with you. I had turned this fact into overcompensating for my “uniqueness” by always having to be the best- prove the fastest, smartest, strongest, you name it, so that my feeling of not belonging was because I thought I was better, not because I was Asian. It took me a long time, say 28 years, to realize that that’s what it was after taking a trip across oceans, cultures, and families – to find out who I truly am and the foundation of my life that has always been there but I was too consumed to see.

This was my journey to Vietnam.

I’ve talked about making the pilgrimage back to Vietnam my whole life – something I have always dreamt about, and nothing I could do to prepare myself for. The whole planning of the trip was a bit numb to me. If you’ve ever dreamt of something your whole life and then start to go through the motions of actually fulfilling that dream – it’s a bit awe-striking. I also found it to be really overwhelming. I started to read the Lonely Planet guide just to start plotting a path and each time I started to read, tears would start rolling; and I don’t mean single tear down the cheek, I mean running rivers of water flowing freely from my eyes. I couldn’t open that book and read about Vietnam without being absolutely flooded. This was going to be an emotional experience.

I wasn’t sure what answers I was looking for – Sense of self? Sense of family? An understanding of my history? Belonging? Redemption? Probably all of the above. All I know was when envisioning it in my head so many different scenarios came and went and I was trying my hardest not to set any expectations for what was about to come.

A big part of my family history is based largely on the Vietnam War. If it wasn’t for the Vietnam War I wouldn’t have been born and raised in the greatest country on earth – America. I’ve heard many stories of my parents heroic pilgrimage to America (for a recap, you can go to a previous blog post: http://www.liztruong.com/2010/07/04/celebrating-independence-both-for-our-country-and-for-my-family/), but also haunting memories of what it was like to live through a war. In our first couple of days we went and visited the “American War Memorial” and it was the most overwhelming, gut-wrenching, heartbreaking moment of my life. There is a room that is nothing but pictures and examples of atrocities of the war. Seeing my family, my parents, running rampant through such difficult times growing up – I couldn’t bear it. I was on the verge of a hysterical breakdown in the middle of a museum with nowhere to go. Where I went ended up being in a bathroom stall to cry my eyes out for a solid half hour – and I have to say it was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I understood a lot about my parents that day and the decisions they have made over the years during a very urgent and volatile part of their lives. I can’t even think about that moment in the museum without streaming tears, and to think that my parents lived it and have been living with it for over 36 years is remarkable to me.

Then came the day to meet my dad’s family for the very first time. My parents hadn’t told them I was coming up until about a day before I set out to meet them. My Grandma (Ba Noi) is still living and therefore is the oldest and headstone of my family. My dad was the oldest of 13 kids and all of them still live within the same area of Ho Chi Minh City. This was going to be a big family. I’ve never been more nervous and excited for something in my life as we pulled up into the part of Vietnam where my dad was born and raised his entire adolescent life – in the same neighborhood and house with the same people he grew up. The moment I got out of the cab, there were people in the streets yelling, “Chanh Truong’s daughter from America! It’s her!” And everyone was staring, smiling, following us as we made the walk to my dad’s house. People were coming out of their houses to say hello and follow us, family members were streaming in with looks of shock and disbelief on their face – it was very confusing until the moment I saw my Ba Noi for the first time and reality struck. This was my dad’s life. She was so overwhelmed and surprised that her son’s daughter from America had returned to meet her. I think I was in so much shock I wasn’t sure how to react yet, until they took a picture frame off the wall that was storing all the pictures of our American family – my parents, brothers and I – and at that moment, I realized – this is family. This is where I came from. And I broke down crying. Needless to say, then everyone started crying, but it was all happy and unbelievable tears.

“Meeting Ba Noi (Grandma) for the first time”

Over the course of the couple days I spent with my dad’s family, they were such warm, hospitable, and loving people. My Ba Noi told everyone she couldn’t eat because she was just so happy. It was crazy to be around people that constantly told me I looked so much like my father. They kept saying my smile was completely my dad, and it reminded them of everything they missed about him. Those two days I was smiling with a pure, unaltered  joy I had never felt before, knowing that when I smiled I was sharing with them a part of their family that they had missed for so long. I was bringing my father back through my smile, something that he is known for by everyone that knows him here and abroad, and realizing that his smile is something that I have of his has become my most precious gift.

“My dad Chanh and his infamous smile”

“Me and my dad’s brother (Uncle #4) with the Truong smile

“Me and my dad’s side of the family in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam”

After spending a couple days with my dad’s family, we made the treacherous journey north to find my mom’s family. My mom grew up in a very small fishing village called Nui Thanh outside of Tam Ky. It’s so small where she grew up, it’s not actually a part of the small town of Nui Thanh – it’s part of a smaller village with no name outside the small town of Nui Thanh. That really only meant one thing to us – this was going to be one incredible journey trying to find them. I have very amusing stories getting to my mom’s family along the “not dangerous – it’s what you call…deadly, yes deadly” freeway and a fantastic translator who managed to doze off on his motorbike on the way down…for those stories let me know you want to hear them and I am happy to share. But for time sake – we made it to my mom’s village. My mom’s family was a complete surprise to me. They were nothing I ever thought they would be, yet it all made so much sense. Gregarious, overly hospitable, feeding you every second, loving you, and making anyone feel like family even if you’re a stranger – that’s what my mom’s family is like, and that’s exactly what my mom is like. I should’ve known. It was an incredibly engaging experience with my mom’s family and they have left a noticeable stamp on my heart, the way my mom does with everyone she encounters in life.

“Me and my mom’s side of the family in Nui Thanh, Vietnam”

Day by day in Vietnam, answers were revealed to me, life-long mysteries were uncovered and puzzle pieces started to fit. Each day I thought to myself – this is home. I can’t believe I am home. And I don’t mean just in location, but I mean in my heart center – my well of love. Growing up all my life being so different, it’s weird to be in a place where your name is plastered everywhere and every face you can see yourself in their eyes. And I wasn’t just connecting in looks, I was connecting in heart. I was here. This journey was the most incredible experience of my life, and the memories I have from it are forever imprinted in my soul.

My most unforgettable moment of my trip was the first time I talked to my parents when I was actually with my dad’s family on the second day. My dad is a man of very few words, but even so I have always known that he loved me, was proud of me, and that I was the world to him. But the first time I heard his voice on the phone, I was so overwhelmed with love and the feeling of how much I missed him I don’t think I’ve ever been more emotional in my life. My dad proceeded to cry with me and through choked sobs tell me he was the proudest he has ever been of me in my entire life. It’s the first time my dad has ever told me, and the only time he will ever need to. I realized this was a major accomplishment and shining moment in my life not just for me, but for my entire family. I had created and shifted our lives to a whole new paradigm by opening flood gates of connection for all of us to freely walk through.

It’s a bit cliche to say that after going to Vietnam I now know who I am. I’ve always been very aware of who I am, but there definitely were some things and some mysteries to me that were essential to knowing my full composition. This journey filled in all the blanks. I realized just how Vietnamese I actually am – that my foundation is much more culturally Vietnamese than it is American. And I am so very humbled to be a “long lost child of Vietnam” – but even more grateful to be one that finally found her way home.

If you ask me what I am now, you will surely get a new answer – I am no longer American, but I am finally Vietnamese – American. A very worthwhile hyphen I believe I have earned and will be honored to express every day for the rest of my life.

My theme for 2011 was “beauty felt lasts longer than beauty seen” and I experienced so many beautiful experiences this year all I can say is that I am very blessed.

My rules for 2011 were:

-Create, feel and revel in beautiful moments

-Practice gratitude on a daily basis to learn true, unaltered, joy

-Live my life based off of my values, not what I think is expected of me

Top 10 Events & Lessons Learned in 2011:

1. Living my life off value based decisions - I took the scary plunge this year to live based off my values and not what I think is expected of me. It was one of the best and most life changing shifts in my life.

2. Quitting my job - I had a very meaningful job, but realized I was sacrificing my personal values to commit to it. When I realized what I was doing, I put in my two weeks notice without flinching.

3. Crooked Trails Annual Auction - There are moments in your life where you feel like you’ve finally arrived. This was my moment and it felt good. Thank you to all my family and friends that were there that night with me to celebrate this incredible head way in my life.

4. Leap of Faith – I have never taken a leap of faith on love like I did this year, and have come to find that love only really exists when you truly 100% commit to that leap of faith. It’s been one of the most challenging, but more rewarding things I have ever done in my life.

5. Overcame ridiculous, overwhelming fear by diving with Hammerhead sharks in the Galapagos Islands - I traveled to the Galapagos Islands with two great and supportive friends to hyperventilate, seriously pray and prepare myself for death, but  ultimately I came out on the other end with one of the greatest experiences of my life.

6. Finding true and everlasting love – with myself:
Who knew it was so hard to accept, believe, and love of all people – yourself? As I was sitting on the unexplainably beautiful beach of Isla Isabela in the Galapagos Islands-I was staring down miles & miles of pristine white sand, clear blue sea, but best of all – not a soul in sight. This is where I found mine.

7. NYC with my brother Tom - Tom and I have had an incredible series of events over the past years that continue to bring us closer together in ways I didn’t think were possible. I learned some valuable lessons on this trip, mainly learning to live and learn with your heart, and surrounding yourself with good people.

8. Going to Cambodia - Cambodia was a very moving paradox of a country – warm, hospitable, and the nicest people I have ever encountered coupled with this deep, moving pain from many years of suffering that really make you feel for the people. Cambodia was truly a moving experience.

9. Returning to the homeland, Vietnam, to honor my family both home and abroad - A trip I’ve talked about and dreamt about from the day I was born – I made the pilgrimmage back to my home country of Vietnam for the first time ever and yes, it was emotional. I set out to find  my entire extended family on both my dad and moms sides to learn more about my parents and about my family both at home and abroad. It was everything I expected, and nothing I could have planned for. This will have a blog post on it’s own.

10. Finding the “quyen” - I’ve spent the year questioning, feeling, and not feeling beautiful. The end of my year when I finally met my dad’s family for the first time in my life, they told me not only was I beautiful, but that I possessed the rare and most important quality of the Vietnamese culture – quyen. It essentially means beautiful and charming within – that no matter how beautiful a Vietnamese girl is on the outside, if they do not possess quyen, then have nothing. But if they do possess quyen, they are to be one of the most treasured and cherished things in the world. Beautiful.

Most Impactful People of 2011 in no particular order:

Professional- Tom Truong: Tom is my life coach and got me to not only realize how to live my life on value-based decisions, but is an incredible example of how to live that way both personally and professionally. Tom is refreshing, engaging, and seeing him implement these ideals in the workplace is incredible. He’s going to do amazing things and his company is so lucky to have him.

Personal- Sean O’Dowd: Sean quit his job, fought off the naysayers and traveled the world for a year. Going against the grain of what is expected of him, Sean lived value-based decisions this year to the fullest and came back with the best thing I’ve seen in him so far – a wide open heart. Learning and living on faith and ready to take on the unknown, I’m truly inspired by the latest chapter in Sean’s life.

Spiritual- Ryan Dudley: I’m always on the quest for betterment of self – and there is no better guru than Ryan Dudley. Reflective, human, questioning life and the soul of a being while also cradling it – to say that Ryan is “deep” is an understatement. He has not only awakened my spirit, but continually feeds it just simply by being himself. That, ladies and gentlemen, is an incredible human being.

Health- Katie Grimes: When I talk about health, I mean overall wellness whether physical, emotional, but most of all – sanity.  She heard me say “I’m going to quit my job” about 100 times, and stuck it to me until I actually did it.  In moments where I say “it’s not so bad, right?” She gave me a knowing stare and a “Really?” or when it really wasn’t, a comforting “it’s not so bad, it could be _____”. Katie really kept me in check this year being the voice of reason whether it needed to be comforting or cynical, but always honest and humorous.

Love- Ian Weinberg: Ok, so I know it’s kind of cliche to pick your boyfriend to say they were the biggest impact on you for the year on love – but I promise it’s not for a cliche reason. I learned so much from Ian this year on relationships and have truly learned for the first time what it means to take a complete leap of faith, commit to something 100% through good and bad, but most of all what it really means to work in your relationship for the betterment of not just you, but for someone else and for each other. He is an inspiring partner and it has been a great experience growing and learning with him.

Friendship- Ian Wyosnick: I learned a lot about friendship from Ian this year, things that I may have seemingly knew but with Ian was not only realized but taken to the next level and put into a way of being. Loyalty, what it really means to befriend and hold a friendship with another – I am so blessed to have Ian come into my life, keep a meaningful friendship with, and that I am happy to say I know will always continue. Thanks for your inspiration, Ian.

Family- Hang Le & Cuong Nguyen: Hang & Cuong offered me the greatest gift I could have ever asked for – both were random strangers that answered a post of mine asking for volunteers to help translate English/Vietnamese with my family so I could connect and build a relationship with them. Hang & Cuong went above and beyond and spent multiple days with me as a bridge in my family in the most meaningful thing I’ve ever done. Low and behold because of it – they are now a part of our family. Thank you for everything, Hang and Cuong. I can’t express the value you have added to my life.

Thank you to the above and others that really made an impact on my life in the past year. I am so blessed to have you all to teach, learn, and grow with.

Now onward to 2012 – “My Journey Home”. Happy New Years to everyone and I wish you the best this year!

I’ve come to find over the years that what I had previously viewed as the foundation of my life – professional security by getting a great job, financial security by getting a great steady paycheck, relationship security by being married at one time – was all actually the wrong kind of security I was looking for in my life. Those first two things especially have never been my top priority values and yet those are two of the biggest things that I am spending the majority of my time and therefore my entire life on. I have been spending all my time trying to feel safe based off of what we all come to believe is expected of us in this world and what is “appropriate” for us.

I’ve learned a lot over the past year about value-based decisions and when my life coach and I first had this conversation he mentioned to me that based off what my priorities and values are in life – I was sitting in the stands and watching my game of life pass me by. My personal relationships and above all things – freedom, balance, and feeling complete were all in the arena and I wasn’t going after it. It took me over two years since that conversation to finally realize how to get in that game, and it has taken me the past year to finally play it.

By staying at MDA I will forever get a paycheck, a 401k retirement, and sit at an admirable point of my professional career. But today I gave up all of that for the promise of something much greater – the opportunity to see my nephew and niece anytime of the day; to travel and see the world and experience life in different cultures; to create a home and not be too exhausted to clean my house, read a book, cook a great meal; I can go home and spend a week with my parents and connect with them in a meaningful way; I can write with absolutely no sense of time; I can go to Vietnam and spend two months meeting my real family and learn more about who I am; I can live my life the way I know it is meant to be lived – on my time.

There is a big difference between what is seen as appropriate for your life, and what is right for your life. These are all the things that are right for my life – but I have been fearful to go out and get it because I didn’t want to lose my supposed place in the world because a job is one of the only places that will give you a title, and financial security is the most talked about ‘value’ in this culture. But once I realized my life is not valued by what a job defines me as and how much money I make – I put my two weeks notice in without flinching.

Learning to make value based decisions in my life above all things has revolutionized my world.  Shoot, it got me to quit my job two weeks ago, leaving financial security and a great position with a very reputable national organization to go after what I really value in life – my personal relationships, freedom, balance and feeling complete.

I know I will fail. I know there will be great moments of struggle, where I’ll get my butt kicked, and where I will question my self worth and my decisions. But I also know that living my life the way I want to live it and the way I know it should be lived is the riskiest thing I will ever do – but above all things, it’s the greatest risk I think I could ever take.

Over the past 3 years, I’ve spent a good portion of my time, soul, brain, and body to MDA and I am proud of the things that I was able to accomplish with the association while there. I am incredibly grateful for the people that I have befriended  over the years – not to mention the tremendous lessons I have learned along the way.  But today I ended a huge chapter in my life- today was officially my last day as the Executive Director of the Muscular Dystrophy Association.

It’s time for me to move on with my life in a big way. It’s time for me to take one of the greatest risks of my life – and that’s to live it.

If this is one of my close friends / family reading and you want to know what I’m really doing after MDA to fulfill the above, keep reading   If you don’t care, you can stop your reading now!

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What I’m doing:

So I officially got hired on as Crooked Trails Executive Director! I’m consulting so it’s a completely flex schedule. It’s the perfect position for me allowing a lot of freedom with my time, but also contributing positively with my skill set to something that makes an impact. I will still be consulting or working part-time for other non-profits that will allow this same mantra (giving me my time, but a place where I can also be committed to and contribute positively). Time is one of the most valuable things in my life, and this really allows me to use time to my advantage by creating what I want with it as opposed to being limited by it. It allows me to put my personal life and personal schedule above my “work”, and allows me to meld my personal and professional life together harmoniously. I’m very excited for this new venture and thank you all for your support! If you want to check out Crooked Trails and find out more about what they do go to:

www.crookedtrails.org

• 2010 – a year of travel! Complete 8 domestic destinations and 2 international destinations (Completed! Wahoo!)
• Live life irrationally – do things that are seemingly uncomfortable without hesitation
• Be relentless about my relationships – spend as much quality time with my family and friends as possible producing meaningful conversations, creating significant connections, and ultimately love more deeply

Based off these rules, I learned some amazing things and made some truly incredible connections.

Top 10 Events & Lessons Learned in 2010:

1. Conquered my irrational fear of cliffs by climbing them – I learned to face fears and feelings that were out of my control by taking them head on not necessarily to control them, but to be comfortable with being uncomfortable

2. Walked through NYC in a wedding dress then burned it to ashes at Golden Gardens in Seattle– I learned to trust myself in my intentions for the world and who I want to be while deflecting judgment from plenty of external forces that don’t matter.

3. Went to Sasquatch Music Festival for 3 days with some people I knew, some people I barely knew, and mostly people I didn’t know at all – and rediscovered music in a huge way while having one of the best times in my life. This trip alone sparked an entire music revolution for the year and for those in my music circle – we dance to the same drum.

4. Reconnected with an old friend, got a cabin up at Stevens Pass – then spent two full weekends with 30+ strangers for both weekends. I learned if you open your heart to the world and to people whether you know them or not, they will open themselves to you in unexpected ways and meaningful relationships can be created.

5. I walked this world alone for the first time - I’ve never been single and out of a relationship for longer than a couple weeks in my entire life, and decided now was the time. I discovered so much about myself to the point where I can say for the first time in my life – I really found myself. Not me and someone else, or me in someone else’s life, but just me.

6. In an absolute uphill battle, I rediscovered love – in God, in myself, in my family, in others. I’ve always loved the latter, but I never knew the type of love that I created this year even existed.

7. Went to Lake Chelan with two complete strangers, completed the longest car ride in history without the radio on and came back as a part of the Three Amigos. I learned friendship is not dependent upon the length of time you know someone, but how willing you are to commit and give to another.

8. Saw all of New England with the entire, and I mean entire O’Dowd Family while celebrating a family legacy. I learned family far and wide will always run deep across generations and generations when you have an amazing foundation.

9. Attending Oliver’s first Christmas concert ever. I learned in unconditional love, you will do anything, ANYTHING, for someone even for just 30 seconds if it’s important. I also learned doing those daily tasks for parents is stressful!

10. Instead of spending my most sacred moment of the year – Christmas with my family – in Colton, I went to Argentina & Uruguay for the warmest Christmas ever with my boyfriend. I learned some risks are worth taking and committing relentlessly to another without knowing  how it may turn out  – is worth it (and it was).

Top 10 Impactful People in no particular order:

I focus on maintaining balance in 6 particular areas of my life as listed below. The following people were beacons of light, people of inspiration, masters or mentors of the category and have helped me to grow and stay balanced in that particular area which  made the biggest impact on my year for me. The words “thank you” do not do justice to the following people for who you are, what you’ve contributed to my life – and I am forever grateful for you in 2010, now, and in the future.  Thank you – I think you are truly, truly amazing. I’m writing something quick about each of you, but I’ll be sending you all a message instead on my full sentiments. I love you all!

Professional – Kevin Wong: I have had the divine pleasure of seeing Kevin grow professionally over the past years and see him really take his life by the reins and succeed, succeed, succeed. I am so proud of Kevin and his accomplishments and his work is just phenomenal – especially his photography. Check him out at: http://www.kvwong.com/

Family – Cori Trahan: Cori is the most amazing mother that has endured and embraced motherhood in unlikely and challenging circumstances. She is the epitome of strength and perseverance just for the sake of unconditional love – and I hope one day to be just as amazing of a mother as she is.

Love – Seth Maxwell:  Seth taught me a lot about love by side commentating my entire love life with wildly inappropriate humor and brutal honesty. Seth is the type of friend that doesn’t tell you what you want to hear, he’s the type of friend that tells you what you need to hear and that’s the only type of friend that should exist. This year – I really needed to hear it. Thank you, Seth. For being a true friend and making me tackle things head on with your sick sense of humor. I am forever grateful.

Health – Tom Truong: My brother is in wellness which is not just your physical state, but also emotional, spiritual, and your overall wellness as a human being. He became my life coach this year and made sure I stayed the course of balance, peace, and wellness. You are brilliant, dear brother – I wouldn’t have gotten through the year without your listening, your coaching, and above all love.

Spiritual – Ron Wheeler: Ron taught me more about God, my relationship with God, and the latter than I’ve learned in my entire life. Without Ron I would be lost spiritually and therefore lost everywhere else in my life. Ron restored my foundation, my well of love, and gave me my life back. Ron – you are the ultimate mentor, teacher, and above all friend.

Personal Development – Ryan Dudley: Ryan leaves me speechless, but only because I’m always deep in thought trying to discover more about myself and my purpose in the world because Ryan encourages you and opens doors to your soul that you didn’t know existed. He is insightful, incredibly human in the most complimentary way, and is so rich with love you can’t help but feel it deep within you when you’re with him.

Friendship – Jason Shrick, Katie Grimes, Alaina Miller, Brian Moore: to all of you, your friendship contributed and uplifted me this year in amazing ways. I am always late, I triple-book myself, and am terrible about phone calls – but you accept me for who I am and stood by me, offered to restore me – little by little, day by day. I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for your friendship and what you’ve done for me. I love you all.

Other impactful people for the year worth mentioning: Crissy Hathaway, Kathleen Moser, Michael Russell, Laura Rosenthal, Hans Rasmussen, Riley Waring, Bryan Pierce, Rick Parchen, Candace Cusano, Sean O’Dowd, Brian Case, Ian Weinberg, Ashley Elders – Shalabh Chaundri – Justin Frank – Cap Puckhaber – Dani Friedrich – Johnny Fever all as one, Ian Wysonick, John Garner, Adam Ellis, and plenty of people I’m forgetting:

you all had a significant impact on me this year, whether carrying over from the previous year, in just a short blurb, or we are just in the beginning. Thank you for contributing to my life and I am grateful for your presence in this world.

Love, love, love….I am looking forward to 2011!

I am 3 days away from the end, but I don’t need to wait until the end to know I have learned tremendously through this giving experience especially through the holidays. This is the first time I’ve never really bought Christmas presents and instead gave and received much more valuable things through time, talent, and treasure.

Just a quick scope of the things that I gave over the past 29 days was anything from babysitting my niece & nephew to give my brother and his wife some time together, hosting family at my house for the first time for Apple Cup, buying tequila shots for co-workers (seriously, it’s much needed), simply asking a stranger how their day was and just listening to them, sharing one of my personal loves by sending a friend and her family to their first Seahawks game, taking a risk and buying a ticket to Argentina to be with my boyfriend instead of my family on my most holiest of holidays – Christmas weekend, buying a stranger lunch, helping friends move, attending my nephew’s first Christmas concert, called friends I hadn’t talked to in over a decade, helping others make connections by connecting them together, gave many compliments, but most of all – loved, loved, loved.

This project was incredible, not just to realize what life is like when your focus every day is on other people, but that you realize some of the best gifts you can give are actually for yourself. Sometimes you need to give yourself time, to use your talents for you, and put your treasures to use – for you. Every gift you give to others, you inherently get back as well – in gratitude, in faith, in love.

I whole-heartedly recommend this project to anyone that feels something is missing or has lost focus lately – I plan on doing it again next holiday season!

Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all!

Since my first post on the 29 gifts in 29 days inspired so many people, I decided that was going to be my first day of giving and I now move into Day 2, and I couldn’t have been approached with a better ask. A friend, Firefighter, and therefore work colleague of mine – Eric Hansen – sent me an email as a request to donate toward his participation in the annual Cystic Fibrosis Foundation stairclimb – an event that in my earlier years I volunteered and helped manage for several years. It’s a cause I whole heartedly believe in and a cause that also helped jump start my non-profit career.

Eric and others are climbing in honor of Allison Thrasher, daughter of a fellow Firefighter who died a few years ago from complications due to Cystic Fibrosis. She was only 4 years old. In addition to that, Allison’s mother (also named Allison) who is the fellow Firefighter’s wife, passed away just 3 weeks ago losing her battle to breast cancer. My heart is swelling for this family, and the moment Eric told me the story I was burning through ways in how to fundraise money not just to fight back, but to honor this beautiful family.

I write this post with tears as I’ve seen so many families endure this struggle due to my job. However, if there is anything I have learned with this position, it’s that I refuse to get used to this feeling because I would never want to take away genuine emotion to any person in this world because they deserve it from us. Just imagining the pain that the father / husband is going through, I believe, is strong enough to resonate in all of us.  So Thrasher family – please know my sympathy and condolences is not of repetition but of true, heartfelt emotion. My heart will be with all of the Thrasher Family and their community as they climb those 56 flights of stairs on Thursday at the Tower at 1201 3rd Avenue (formerly Washington Mutual Tower).  You will most definitely be in my thoughts and prayers for the week. Climb hard, climb fast – and I’ll see you at the bottom with a beer!

And to Eric – congratulations on raising $500 and growing and doing something so giving. You inspire me!

Part of my giving on day 2, is not only donating but sharing this story with you to give YOU the opportunity to give as well. If you would like to honor this family – please go to Eric’s page at: http://stairclimb.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?ievent=433916&lis=1&kntae433916=8484F3C409994AC4864A464761085CC6&supId=312126854

If donations are closed, send me a message at liz.truong@gmail.com and I will make sure that your donation is put to honor and acknowledge this family.

This story makes my heart feel so empty…but giving on behalf of this family to fight back definitely helps fill it back up.

To the spirit of giving…